He may be a Democrat and, gad, a Yale Man, but what other Man of the People in the race owns with his multimillionaire heiress wife a 1995 Chevy Suburban, a 1993 Land Rover Defender, a 1989 Jeep Cherokee, a 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee, a 2001 Audi Allroad, a 2001 Chrysler PT Cruiser, a 1985 Dodge 600 Convertible, a 2002 Chrysler 300M, a 2002 Harley Davidson, his AND hers powerboats, a power inflatable 2001 Novurania, and a Gulfstream II private jet, as well as five homes and vacation getaways valued at $33 million? What other Gentleman of Leisure had as of March missed every one of the 22 roll call votes in the Senate this year and 64 percent of the roll call votes last year, while still collecting a Senate salary of $158,000 a year? What other Foe of Special Interests has raised more money from paid lobbyists than any other senator over the past 15 years? Who else in the race has his own family island, flies in a hairdresser by private jet for a $1,000 haircut, and asks for Swiss cheese on his Philly cheese-steak? By Jove, he's a man after my own heart! Do join Lovey and me in throwing steamer-trunks full of cash in his direction!

Also lending Kerry their support: spam stalwart Confident T. Plushier, and, wonder of wonders, Ho Chi Minh's Ghost.

Go here to claim official Kerry Campaign web space for yourself, for Addams Family gentleman's gentleman Ted Cassidy, for Pope Pius XXIII – whomever!

(Via LGF)